" Pain Personified.."

ONE note to all my readers:

This poem.. is NOT written by me...

Yes, I did make a few changes, But it was written by someone else

It reminded me of one of mine.. " Mes Coucer.."

And I found it equally touching...

" It's all over with that special person which was once very near to
you. Whatever time you've spent with that person is permanently etched
on your mind, you can't do a thing about it..

Rains.. An important element that makes us remember those moments,
some good, some bad..
Further when you try to get attached with someone else, sometimes it
happens that they still don't let us behave freely with those people..
This poem is inspired by these very thoughts..

Why in these rains..

I loved to soak myself in the rains,
when you were with me,
now I sit in my house,
with rain falling outside,
as alone as I could be..[1]

I made a promise to myself,
not to think about you,
but the rains make me feel,
I wish even your feelings were true..[2]

I still remember the rain,
on that fateful day,
The day when you made,
my heart hear nay..[3]

I waited for you,
with my heart open,
i waited in the rain,
to hear the unspoken..[4]

May be it was never possible,
between you and me,
maybe it was all over,
And this was destined to be..[5]

I still miss that friend in you,
I still need that care from you,
The warmth of you being there with me,
I miss the time I shared with thee..[6]

You were the one I laid my trust upon,
now I think it wasn't enough..

I swear my dear,
I'm now bereft,
I refuse to trust,
since you had left..[7]

A girl waits outside,
so I opened my door,
She came into my life...

Now that you weren't so near..[8]

But how near could she get?

With you still there with me..?

My heart still broken now..

and the pain still within me..[9]


Now in these days..,
it does still rain,
instead of cheers,
it mostly gives pain ..[10]

Will I ever get back,
what I had lost ?
Will I ever get back,
my stolen heart,
though charred by you,
and for someone,
it might be a precious part..[11]

Give my heart back,
give it back to me,
some one else has come,
who's not as cold as thee..[12]

Don't ever meet me again,
in heavens where I'll dwell,
watching you there,
my heart will again swell..[13]

I don't want my angel,
to watch me cry,
I don't want her,
to ask me why ??[14]

I have no answer yet..

And I have nothing to say

All i think is, ""Why my love

did you leave me this way?"

But,
But I just wish once,
I wish before I die,
I wish to tell you ,
That in all these rains,
I still sit alone and cry.. " 

" LoSt DAyS..."

Time is the longest distance between two places.  ~Tennessee Williams




It seems like just yesterday, when I bid a farewell to my home Sweet Home - Pune. 
And I think I will always remember that day, when I could see my parents through that glass barrier..... and it seemed like eternity when I would ever see them again....
These 10 months seem to pass like years. And now I am waiting to see them...


When we have someone in our lives, we don't seem to realize what they could mean to us... But when there's even a slight separation, we seem to feel their absence in our lives.
This phase is the worst.... when we're torn between two minds...
When my mind says it won't be possible, but my heart says something else...
And the dilemma seems never ending... 


There are a few people who mean the world to me, and they are far away from me. But, even though we are countries apart, it doesn't make a difference to us.
It just takes a phone call, and it seems as though nothing ever changed. I love that feeling when you pick up the phone, and someone on the other end goes like, " Where the hell have you been! ..." and that's how it all starts...


But, it's very interesting to note, that where distance never affects those few golden relations, some seem to fade away, even when there's no distance involved. 
Either there is  some misunderstanding, or something else  goes wrong. 
And then, one day when you sit down to think about it, you can't even figure out why people drifted away.


I always read this somewhere or the other, (I'm sure you all have heard of this one) 
' Time heals all wounds'. 
Well, some may agree, and some may not. 
My version of this is slightly different.
" Time heals all wounds.... BUT it always leaves behind scars.."
We all hope for a bright future, but at the same time, somewhere or the other, there's always one part of our past that weighs on our mind. It could be a failed relationship, or something you felt was left undone...could be anything. 
We love our present, but somewhere we still have regrets regarding certain things in our life. 


This journey for me taught me one thing. The clock is never going to stop, so if you have to say something, say it. If you have to do something, do it; Because you never know when that time passes, and that incident becomes something in your life that becomes a unfinished past........

" Ne jamais lâcher.... "

Just a little back-ground note to all reading this...

This one - Never Let go.."  is a very special dedication to EVERYONE in my life.. To all those who matter... and especially to my wonderful and loving parents....

Whether I've told you.. or whether I haven't...

And especially.. All those I'm going to be leaving behind here..

Well, let me not say leaving behind.. But now would be a 'little' far away....

But, I just want you.. to keep in mind..

That even though.. this distance separates us.....

Nothing would change....

 " I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel......”

So as my feelings will not change....... NOTHING ELSE WILL......

-----------------------------------------------------------

I looked over my shoulder...
And saw you smile..
I was still unsure about it... 
But looking at you gave me strength to move on...
I just had to do this...
And now there was no looking back...
I didn't have a choice... I had to do this..


I remember that time...
When we made this decision...
This decision to part..
This decision to venture out..
And now when the time came..
The time to take the final step...
I felt my steps falter.. And I wanted to stop...


" But is this what you want? "
Was what my heart asked me....
One part of me wanted to go ahead..
But one part..... One part just wanted to pause time there and then...
Just didn't want time to move on...
Just wanted some more time..
Some more time to feel the love I was leaving behind..


" Why was it so difficult? "
But I did know it would be..
And leaving behind all of this was tough..
There would be distance..
And there would be time.. 
But I knew one thing for sure...
No matter what... you both would always be mine..


Nothing could separate us..
And I knew nothing could change..
The love I feel for you....
Would always remain the same.... 
And bridge all the length..
And time is something I cannot stop...
And the prospect of moving on was a pain....


But your smile assured me of one thing...
You were with me
You would not give up...
And so neither would I.
You would stand by with me....
And never leave my side..
And your presence gave me the strength....


And so I looked back at you and smiled...
You knew what my heart felt...
You knew me so well...
You knew I would get through this...
I would get through this well...
You knew I would not give up..
You knew I would stay...
Stay till the very end..
Stay till the last day........

" My Mother......"

Your presence is like the sunshine

Which creeps into this heart of mine.

It melts away all the despair and darkness

And brings in the light of happiness.

                  

You are…. My guiding star

                   I’ll always pray, that you never go far.

                   You’ll always be my guiding light

                   To tell me when I’m wrong or right.

Whenever I was down with fever

You’ve always been there  forever.

And  you always cared, loved and adored me,

Your presence has always soothed me.

                  

In case my footsteps ever falter.

                   I know you’ll be there to lead me after.

                   You always seem to understand.

                   Lest I fall… let me stand.

When my world seems to crumble and fall…

And I feel really depressed and small.

I know you’ll always be there with me.

To provide support and help me.

So many years have flown past…

                   And I sometimes wonder, over the past.

                   Old times went and new times came…

                   But you have always been the same…

Your love has this healing power.

Just like heaven’s blessing shower.

Whether I’m happy, or feeling blue….

I  want you to know that……

My heart  will  always  need  YOU……

And.. I will always Love you…..                      

M : May

U : U live

M : Many

M : More

Y : Years…!!!!!!!!

" La Trahison... "

When We'd met...
I'd Never known...
That time would change....
And I'd find myself so alone...

Time teaches us lessons...

And people undergo a change... 

Nothing is permanent...

And many things seem strange....

I thought you were amigo..
And would always remain the same...

What did this heart know....
Know about that inflicting pain..

How innocent I was..

And how naive I could be...

Trusted your words.....

And believed whatever you said to me

Those words were so sweet..

And it seemed so right to me.. 

But time would tell the truth...

It was to be honey coated bitter sweet..

I trusted without doubt..

I believed with conviction...

I thought of no fault...

And asked for no explanation...

There was a time..

When maybe I should have cast doubt...

But I did none of it...

And I trusted always without doubt...

But later someone told me...

Told me of your dishonesty..

I refused to believe those words...

Those words of your perfect disloyalty....

I tried to look beyond those mistakes..

And beyond all that pain

Waiting for your reply.....

To let you off that blame....

I thought of confronting...

And then I considered asking..

But then something came to mind...

Was it even worth the asking?

What would I ask....

And what would I say...

Someone whom I'd trust so much..

Had let me down this way...

I'd believed foolishly..

I'd trusted implicitly..

And all that trust...

Had been violated that way....

The truth was something...

I would rather let it be...

Let it go for another day..

And forget what you said to me..

But Alas! How difficult it was to forget..

To forget that bitter sweet memory..

Reminded of it all the time....

Reminded of that memory...

And how could I even blame you..

Blame you for doing this to me....

It was all my fault..

My fault to have trusted so easily....

But time had taught me a lesson..

A lesson to never do so again...

You was never worth it...

And this realization had come with pain....

But pain it was....

And pain it was to be....

My lesson in life.....

So have trusted you so easily....

And as I went through this pain....

My heart yearned to be....

For what it had been....

Before seeing your disloyalty...

But as time always moves on....

I prayed that it would never be..

I yearned to forget the past...

And to just let it be...

How I wish it was that simple!

As simple as to have let it go..

Those words became unforgivable....

And my heart refused to just let go....

But as time moved on.....

I remembered what was said to me....

Those small words of wisdom....

Came rushing back to me...

" Everyone in this world is going to hurt you...

And pain is something that would always be...

But what would matter more is when you accept...

Accept as the things are going to be....

Pain would be part of life....

Just as happiness will always be....

And that pain would always make you realize...

Those people who's love would always support thee. "

And on this I pondered over...

Thinking on now what would it be...

Would I forget and move on...

Or would the pain still haunt me..............

Mi Silencio

I walked by the shore….

Thinking of the day…

When I saw him come….

And stand in my way.

Those emeralds from my eyes…

Seemed to give me away..

How could I lie?

Was all my heart could say….

I was in dilemma….

What should I say?

Was the truth worth it?

Or should I leave it for another day….

His eyes showed concern…

His eyes showed care…

He knew I was hurt….

But what was there to share?

I could have spoken….

I could have shared…

And  then something else did tell me..

That answer, that he cared.

And now I was thinking…

That what would I say?

Was the truth still worth it?

Or should I leave it for another day..

I nearly started talking…

I nearly said it all…

But somehow between the moments…

I seemed to forget it all….

The moment seemed to confuse me…

And I felt something was astray..

Something seemed to stop me…

Something told me to stay…..

I didn’t want to go on.

I didn’t want to say..

I just wanted to leave it…..

Leave it for another day…  

   .

“Oh! But you have to tell me!”

Was something I heard him say….

And again I considered it all..

And then I went on to say…

“ What would it matter…

If it even mattered at all…

Would you think of this later…?

If you ever thought at all…?

Would you understand it that way..

Could you make it okay....?

Could you make a difference....

Would you always hear me say?

You want to know what I’m thinking..

You want to hear me say…

The truth is something….

I would rather leave for another day.…”

He looked at me in confusion…

Trying to figure what I said…

But my eyes gave away nothing…

And then he finally said…..

“ If you would rather not tell me….

Then I think I know what you said…

I had promised to understand…

And I always meant what I said…. “

And so it seemed to end here….

But then a voice did say…

“ Why didn’t you tell him…

And left it for another day ?”

Now that He had left it..

Now that he was okay…..

I felt a little unease..

I didn’t find it okay….

Now I started thinking,…

And now I wondered what to say…..

I was maybe repenting….

My silence…. And that way….

Should I have said it?

OR was this the right way?

Did I make a mistake.....

Leaving it for another day…..

" Mes Coeur..... '

I sit back and think…

Of those days far away…

When no worries would plague us…..

And nothing would disturb us then..…

                               

When summer brought its own joy….

And days  full of laughter…

The sun shone brightly o’er us…

And we talked almost every day….

We spoke of the sun…. the stars and the moon..

We spoke of our crazy friends…

Days would pass.. and weeks dragged by….

But we were always the same….

I always thought… ‘ Would he understand…?”

And I wondered if he cared…

And after all those times that would pass…

Would he a glance spare?

The rain brought with it… its own magic…

Those showers made everything beautiful..

Getting drenched was always special….

And today was ever  the same…

Casting a silver beam upon us…

the moon shone brightly overhead…

The walk was made heavenly…

With the stars shining o’erhead..

I felt this was special….

And it seemed to be perfect….

I once thought of asking him..

But,  something stilted my steps….

I knew he did care….

But did he care enough?

My heart was unsure….

And so it thought of giving up…

 “But how can you give up? “

Was what my mind said…..

And so one day it decided…

To do what it had said…..

I knew it would not be easy….

And my heartbeats seemed to double ..…

Thinking of those days….

Gave strength to move on then.... 

I saw him arrive…..

And he rendered me breathless..…

And before I could say it….

His words made me speechless..

“ I Finally told her…

And she has said Yes..’

My heart seemed to freeze…

And all I said was “ Oh Good…….. Yes..”

I had heard..

That  it would be like this…

But   never had I thought..

I would feel like this…

It all seemed to shatter…

And a tear emerged from my eyes…

I wish he never meant it….

Was all that my heart cried…

I wish he could disappear.

And take the pain away…

I wish I could forget it all..

All those eternally happy  days…

And sleep refused to oblige me…

And  the pain refused to leave…

And thoughts continued to torment me…

With memories of those passing days….  

Today a year has passed…

And I think back on all those times…

How we met…. And what we did… and

How his eyes arrested mine…

I still think of those  times…..

And memories come flooding back..

Dancing in the rain….

And playing in the sand….

                 

There a drop fell on my cheek

And I looked up at the heaven above..

Maybe some quiet angel was crying out…..

Her heart out ,,….on some lonely shore..

I closed my eyes… and looked up….

And I felt the breeze on my face.

It made me remember those times we had…

Shared together.. …in some quiet beautiful place…

But it was over…

And I knew it  then..

Maybe no hope….

 And maybe…. No more pain…

I smiled to myself…

For someone had once said…

You will  cause the pain...

But  you will  be the strength….

My heart then whispered to me…

“ You think it would happen again… “

Those feelings in me would never be…..

Never be evoked again….

I was strong now… I was wise….

I had learnt it myself....

Living in hope could be futile…

And maybe I could never trust again..

But another voice then called out….

That would it ever be fair?

Punishing those who never did wrong…                      …

And then causing all the pain again..?    

Could I do it?

Would I manage..?

Would I ever manage..

To see it all again…????

And so today I live…..

In the hope of living again….

Accepting it all now…..

With those feelings.. and with the pain…